So I talked about kabets on my latest blog. Today, I will talk about cheaters. Lol. If you’re wondering why I’m suddenly interested in writing about this, don’t worry, it’s really just because I’m trying to understand how and why cheating happens.
Plus, I got really stressed out when I found out that Tristan Thompson cheated on Khloe Kardashian with Jordyn Woods, Kylie Jenner’s best friend which is Khloe’s sister!
A little confusing I know especially if you’re not a fan of the Kardashians. I’m not a fan but I know about them because they’re ALWAYS on Social Media.
But anyway, going back to the topic. Why do people cheat? I am not generalizing here but the majority of people that I personally know who cheated are MEN. Why? That, I briefly talked about in my previous blog, here.
If you ask a man that question right now, you’d normally get this answer: “What can we do? We’re naturally polygamous.”
That is indeed true. But here’s the BUT – at least get your partner’s consent.
If you want to have multiple wives, go ahead and marry them.
If you want two chicks to wake up to every single morning, then, by all means, do just that.
But you MUST let us know so we TOO can decide whether we still want to be with you or not.
A friend once asked me, what will I do if I found out my husband is cheating. My answer is this: I’ll help him pack his bags, bring him to his new wife, and let him live happily ever after.
Of course, I got the comments saying, “You’re just saying that right now. I don’t think you’d give up your marriage right away especially if there are kids involved.”
But I want my friend to understand that this is how I look at things:
1. Having ME in his life is not enough for him. Why force him to stay with me if he’s looking for more?
2. I don’t want my children to see a cheating father because it will definitely affect the way they will look at men (if they’re girls) and how being a father (if they’re boys) should be – one way or another.
3. Setting someone free is a form of love too.
4. I deserve respect.
5. Life is too short to be miserable and stay married/in a relationship with a man who does not have an inch of respect for me as a human being.
Some people will say that everyone deserves a 2nd chance. It’s hard for me to say I agree because right now, I don’t think I can give my husband a 2nd chance if he cheats.
Someone close to my heart had the most painful experience when she found out her boyfriend cheated. I saw how broken she was and to think – she does not deserve to go through such pain at all! She has the kindest heart, a beautiful human being, she’s a loving girlfriend anyone could ever ask for. Eventually, she forgave him and they moved on. But she no longer trusts him the same way she did before. And every time she looks at him, she would remember that familiar pain she felt when she found out about the cheating. The pain never went away, it will always be there.
Why do people stay married even after the cheating happened?
Here are three major reasons I could think of:
1. Don’t Know How To Be Independent
It’s hard to leave a husband who provides almost everything you want and need. Clothes. Money. Food. Shelter. This is very common in a Filipino household. Even after the cheating (or worst domestic violence) she will still stay because she does not know how to support herself or her kids. She didn’t work for a long time, a full-time mom, and may no longer be qualified (middle-aged women) to even look for a job!
2. Refuse to Have a Broken Family
A lot of moms out there struggle to leave an abusive and unfaithful marriage because they don’t want their kids to NOT have a father. They want to keep the family together even if there’s no longer love between the two of them.
3. Worried About What Will People Say
Whether we like it or not, in today’s world it’s hard not to think about what other people say about your life. A lot of unhappy marriages are caused by the comments of other people who don’t even have a clue what’s going on in the household.
So couples tend to pretend they’re still happy and nothing’s going on. Then the next thing we hear is Breaking news! Wife kills cheating husband! Everyone is surprised: What? Why? They always looked like they were a happy couple!
When someone decides to cheat, they will cheat. There’s nothing you can do to have prevented it and you certainly cannot pretend that it didn’t happen.
What you can do, however, is this:
1. Stay ready. Always have some sort of income. Earn and save money. Find what you’re passionate about and start making money from it. When you’re financially independent you know you’re ready in case your husband leaves you for someone else OR your husband won’t even think about cheating because he knows you’ll do just fine without him.
2. A broken family is better than a dysfunctional family. Ok, they’re both messed up but at least you are still able to raise your kids with a lot of love and teach them valuable lessons in life even if their parents are no longer together. A dysfunctional family will only result in dysfunctional children with dysfunctional lives. Never let that happen.
3. People will always have something to say. Heck, even when you’re not doing anything they’ll say something. Lol. So forget about them. Focus on yourself and your kids. Life is too short. TOO short to think about what other people say about you.
I believe people like my friend who gave their partner a second chance are the strongest people in the world – they’re the kind of people you want to be friends with because you know their heart is pure.
And if you read the Bible, you’ll know that God teaches us to give 2nd chances. Remember when Jonah was swallowed by a great fish? His death was certain but God gave him a second chance! So many other verses in the Bible that teach this.
“Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from the belly of the fish, saying, I called out to the Lord, out of my distress, and he answered me; out of the belly of Sheol I cried, and you heard my voice. For you cast me into the deep, into the heart of the seas and the flood surrounded me; all your waves and your billows passed over me.”
I hope YOU find the love that you deserve. xx
Don’t hesitate to let me know if you agree or disagree on this topic! I would love to hear from you!😍