I still remember very clearly the very first mistake I made when I was a little girl.
I was playing around the bottle of ketchup my father had just bought at the store and I broke it. I knew it was expensive because that was the 90’s – we were poor and buying a bottle of ketchup is the last thing my parents would ever think of buying from the store. My father got so mad that he immediately whipped me with his belt. I felt so horrible. Not because I understood I made a mistake – but because I thought my father loved the bottle of ketchup more than his own child.
Looking back, I find that incident hilarious. I would have done the same thing if it was my son who broke that bottle of ketchup.
As a child, we were taught that mistakes always corresponds with punishments. That’s the only way to teach a child to be obedient and sometimes the only way to protect them from harm. Of course, abuse is different. We punish our children because of the mistake they did, not because of what YOU felt when they did it.
But now that we’re grown, especially as mothers, we don’t need anybody to punish us anymore. Why? Because we’re already punishing ourselves! We beat ourselves up thinking that we now have greater responsibilities, we’re adults, and we shouldn’t be making mistakes anymore. Someone even told me before that mistakes are for the weak and there’s no room for it in this world. People around us constantly points out our inadequacy as a mom, tells us what we should’ve done, and reminds us that we’re doing it wrong. While we spend and waste a lot of time worrying about the mistakes we did, we also find ourselves being unnecessarily critical of those around us when they make mistakes. We’re killing ourselves and unknowingly poison other people with our thoughts.
It’s Okay, Seriously Okay – to Make Mistakes
We don’t always realize it but mistakes are actually rainbows hiding behind the dark clouds. Mistakes help us see a much better path towards greatness and perfection – or at least close to perfection. It lets us see the worst side of us but also gives a clear view of the good side. When you give yourself enough freedom to make mistakes and give people around you permission to mess things up as well, everything will feel ten times lighter. I’m not saying that you encourage yourself to continue messing up or expect things to go wrong – we just need to have more compassion and understanding when we do.
A Forgiving Heart is The Key
The most important part of moving through a mistake is through forgiveness. Ahhh. Probably one of the hardest things we have to do in this life, right? But whether you agree or not, this is the truth: resentment, blame, and hate will only eat you up alive. That’s a lot of wasted time and energy right there! You’re not winning – you’re losing. Isn’t it better to focus more on productivity and positivity? Sure you messed up, scold yourself, say you f*cked up, BUT DON’T DWELL on it. If you know you’re doing the best you can, get off your own back and allow yourself to be human regardless of what other people say.
The most successful and influential people I know did not figure it out in just a snap. They stumbled across so many difficult paths and fell with their face facing the ground, but they kept on going. Now they’re enjoying the fruits of their labour and shared the lessons they learned to other people along the way.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, gorgeous. Trust me, you’re going to make more mistakes in the future but there’s no reason not to get up with grace, turn your thoughts around, and use that mistake as a blessing in disguise.
“The Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”Colossians 3:13