If you’re one of the many parents I personally know who’s currently going through difficult moments in raising their sons, there may be some things you want to avoid doing when raising them. The following mistakes I’m about to break down mostly didn’t come from a bad place, it’s just that sometimes parents over do it.
Consider tweaking the following things if you still have young boys at home and maybe learn some tips on how to raise a boy correctly:
1. You want him to think like you.
I’ve heard of a lot of moms who said, “Omg, my son thinks like me! How did I get so lucky!” But what if he doesn’t think like you? Does that mean you aren’t lucky? One thing you need to remember is that boys’ minds are wired differently than girls. He will have problems and may become more guarded about sharing his feelings once he hits early adolescence. So you must allow your son to approach life differently, maybe it with how he solves his homework or when choosing what sport to play.
2. You set up unnecessary boundaries.
I’m all for boundaries. In fact, I already set some for my 2-year-old son. How much more with a young boy? Let’s just say, their decisions aren’t always well thought out that’s why we need to guide them. However, parents must allow their sons to, within reason, explore their innate desire or their physical world as freely as possible. For example, allow your son to clean a fish or cut the grass. They need to learn how to wisely assess and navigate risk and that’s where you properly place boundaries.
3. You don’t really care if he’s bored.
My little brother and his friend stopped by our place the other day and my son was the happiest of them all! So when I saw him looking really sad when the two boys left, it broke my heart. My sons love playing, he loves activities, interactions. So one thing I hate is to see him looking bored or spending his time on gadgets. He plays with his toys most of the time too but I sometimes feel that he should be playing more. I learned that we have to give our sons the opportunity to get dirty outside while playing with his friends because it’s part of growing up too!
4. Have an “it’s normal for boys to do that” mentality.
While it’s true that boys are different than girls, this doesn’t mean that they can act irresponsibly or carelessly. If you see your son drinking, fighting, or behaving inappropriately, these are unwise acts that should not be justified. It’s important to keep your standards high for your son and remind him that you expect him to act like a man and a gentleman. The idea of “boys will be boys” is usually misunderstood so make sure you explain to him what manhood really means. It’s normal for us to want to know how to raise a tough boy but we have to do it the right way.
I would personally teach my son to handle his anger correctly. I have a dark past with someone treating me badly because he couldn’t contain his anger. I wouldn’t want my son to think that because he’s a man, he can be angry or hurt someone without any justified reason.
5. You do everything for him.
Well, our love for our children will always be greater than our love for ourselves no matter how many rules for raising a son set in place. We make sacrifices because we want them to be happy. However, soon enough they’ll be adults and the last thing you want to see is a man who couldn’t take care of himself. They have to learn to be responsible and that will only happen if we give them something they’ll be responsible for. This is the perfect time to teach them that while they’re young because they’re still staying in our homes.
I am not at all perfect. In fact, I wrote about the two major reasons why I’m feeling guilty as a mom in my previous blog. I don’t always get it right, I lose my patience too. So I know our ways of raising our kids won’t always be the same. But the common mistakes of raising a son I listed above are helpful in making sure that you’re taking the best steps as a parent raising a son.